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Everything You Know Is Wrong

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I was walking to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension, and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space who kinda looked like Jamie Farr. They sucked out my internal organs and they took some Polaroids and said I was a darn good sport, and as a way of saying thank you, they offered to transport me out to any point in history that I would care to go. *

And so I had them send me forward to Monday morning, so that I could bring you back this authoritative list of commercials that will be airing during Sunday’s Super Bowl.

* Just kidding, I didn’t time-travel. I just visited Mahalo!


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